What if you did it this way instead?

What if you allowed it all to unfold in its own time?

What if, instead of trying to control every step, you let the signals from your nervous system guide you toward what feels good, safe, and steady in a way that works for YOU?

When you learn to lean into it and trust this process, this evolutionary physiological system hardwired to look after us, to keep us alive, you give yourself the chance to move through life in a way that feels calm, natural, and aligned, rather than forcing yourself into someone else’s plan (or indeed your own!), removing external (or again your own) expectations, or arbitrary timelines.

What if the route you ended up taking was different from the one you’d planned, but it felt calmer, more peaceful, and more fulfilling? Why wouldn’t you choose that way, the way that feels good to you, instead of forcing yourself into the stressful path you think you ‘should’ take because that’s what you’ve been shown or told?

What if the process could feel good as it grows? What if it unfolded in a way that feels just right for you, still growing personally and professionally, in fact increasingly so, all whilst showing your nervous system it’s safe, every step of the way, so it feels natural and progressive rather than rigid or overwhelming?

Let’s get a little scientific for a moment.

Your nervous system is powered by the vagus nerve. This is the longest cranial nerve in the body, running from your brainstem through your face, throat, heart, lungs, and gut. It’s constantly scanning your internal and external environments, this is known as neuroception, asking one question: “Am I safe?” Based on its ‘answer,’ your nervous system shifts into one of three states:

• Ventral vagal – This is where you feel safe, calm, and connected. You’re open, curious, and able to engage with others and the world around you. This is the state we’re designed to spend most of our time in.
• Sympathetic – This is your fight-or-flight state, designed to help you survive immediate threats. Your heart races, your breathing quickens, and your body is ready to act. It’s meant to be temporary, a quick burst of energy when needed, but many of us get stuck here.
• Dorsal vagal – This is your shutdown state. When the nervous system perceives a threat it can’t escape or fight, it goes into a state of shutdown or immobility. You might feel disconnected, numb, or like you can’t move forward.

Your nervous system is constantly moving between these states, responding to what it perceives as safe or unsafe. The goal isn’t to stay in ventral vagal 24/7 (life happens), but to have the flexibility to return to it when things settle.

Your nervous system is always sending you signals. The butterflies in your stomach, the tightness in your chest, the racing heart, or even that foggy feeling in your brain, these are all messages from your nervous system about the state you’re in. When you start to recognise these cues, you can begin to respond to its signals in a way that nurtures safety and a balance that works specifically for you.

Last night I was at a little piano concert where my kids were performing. I can’t help it, I see nervous systems in action all the time now! The concert displayed such perfect examples of this in action. There were 17 performers, ranging from young children to adults in their 40s, and the performances were beautiful to watch. The energy in the room was so supportive and uplifting. All there with a common interest of celebrating progress and passion. Nervous systems wire together, don’t you know, so the energy just got better and better. And of course, my kids were playing, which made it all the more special for me!

The teacher, Greta, is properly like a ray of sunshine! Once again, I’m bleating on about people in their passion, but I make no apologies. She really is someone in her absolute passion and it shines not only through her music and the way she teaches, but in her whole demeanour as a human being, she’s just joyful and gorgeous to be around. The kids absolutely love her (and they had done Piano elsewhere before and not been at all interested). That passion comes through when people are in it, doing what they love, and it creates that real soul connection. When somebody is in their passion everyone can feel it.

It’s clear why the kids adore her, her presence is calming and magnetic.

At one point, a little girl stood up to perform but you could see as she literally froze on the spot. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. It was clear to me that her nervous system had become completely overwhelmed, it felt unsafe, very unsafe, and had sent her into the dorsal vagal state.

Her parents gently brought her back to her seat, where she had a big cry and was cuddled and reassured. That connection with her parents helped her nervous system feel safe again, moving her back through the states, from dorsal to sympathetic (crying released energy) and finally back to ventral vagal. She later chose to stand up and play her piece, dressed as a princess, performing “Beauty and the Beast.” Cute as!

It was such a beautiful reminder of how our nervous systems work and what they need to feel calm and safe to be able to perform (or indeed to be able to progress and step into the version of success we know we are capable of, in business and in life).

Greta, on the other hand, was full-on in ventral vagal, playing her own beautiful piece at the end of the concert! You could see it clearly, passion pouring out of her, completely present, and this energy totally connecting with the whole room.

When we live in ventral vagal, we have access to our full selves, our creativity, our joy, and our ability to connect deeply with others. It’s a state where we can be who we really are and move through life with calm, inner peace, confidence, enjoyment, and meaning.

This makes the vagus nerve the absolute key player in how you experience life. Your nervous system literally creates your whole story. It determines whether you feel calm and connected, at peace, whether you need to be ready to take action, or if you are completely frozen (mentally and/or physically) and overwhelmed. Every sensation in your body, every reaction, is your nervous system’s way of trying to keep you safe, even when it feels anything but.

When you understand how your nervous system works, you can start to meet it where it is, responding to its signals in a way that nurtures safety and a balance that works for you. You can learn to move through the states gradually in a way that works for YOU, without forcing yourself to be or do anything that increases that feeling of danger or overwhelm. It’s about listening to what your body is telling you, learning to hear and feel it, then letting it guide you, and showing it, step by step, that it’s safe. This allows you to create the life you want from the inside out.

When you do this, life feels different. It feels like the one you want to create and feel deep down. The path you take might not look how you expected, but it will feel oh so good to you. Calm. Peaceful. Your own and successful in all the right ways for YOU. True YOU.

If you are ready to get back connected to you and start to create the life you really want, take this opportunity for YOU. Use this link to book in for a 1:1 Nervous System Power Hour together. This is time for you to uncover what’s really affecting how you’re feeling and showing up day to day. Together we’ll identify where your nervous system is holding you back and explore practical, simple, tailored practices you can integrate into your life and begin using straight away.

This is your life, choose to let it unfold in a way that feels right for you.

Have the best week you lot.