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Well that was a LOT. Spa anyone?
02 . 02 . 25
02 . 02 . 25
What’s January been feeling like for you?
Now, I hope it comes across that I never want to be the kind of person who ‘tells’ people what to do from a place of being an expert, one who is so wise they are seemingly exempt from feeling all the things humans feel and experience? Quite the opposite is true. I want to be very open about myself and my experiences of still feeling all the feelings - good, bad, happy, sad, healthy and thriving, done in and knackered and everything in between… and also show you why I choose to live my life the way I do.
So… currently, my nervous system is very much letting me know it’s under strain, it’s not feeling safe. I’ve been ‘in launching REGULATE’ for two weeks now, and of course, there’s all the prep, excitement, learning, creation, and setup even before that.
I couldn’t be more proud of what we’ve created to allow people to really access and feel the impact of this work. I’m beyond excited to get you started on these simple regulation practices (REGULATE goes live on 3rd Feb by the way! So this is the last 24 hours to get that FREE Founder-Member exclusive 45-minute workshop and live Q&A with me. You can join here).
And I couldn’t be more thrilled that so many of you are already in there together.
And yet, as happy as all this makes me, and how chuffed to bits I am with it all, my body - my nervous system - has been receiving all of that extra energy, excitement, and pressure as ‘stress.’, ‘danger’ if you will. Because that’s how the nervous system works, it doesn’t distinguish between “good” stress and “bad” stress. It just recognises something is different and reacts accordingly to keep us safe, to keep us alive.
For me, that’s looked like bloating. Seriously - I have looked preggo again on and off for weeks. I’m definitely seeing and feeling that imbalance, that dysregulation of my nervous system, right in the old gastric tract (glam.) And here’s why… Because as an automatic survival mechanism, ‘stress’ draws blood flow away from things like digestion (because your body doesn’t care about breaking down lunch if it thinks you need to survive something first).
And then there’s the waking with neck pain. A crick. You know when you have to turn half your torso just to look at someone standing next to you. Neck says “Nope”? That was my body bracing - literally preparing for the ‘danger’ my nervous system was perceiving.
Now, I want to share this with you here to explain why I’m so passionate about sharing all this stuff about my own real life with you week on week.
The way we live our lives, the environment we put ourselves in, the sleep we get, our nutrition, the exercise we do, the people we surround ourselves with, even our posture - it all directly impacts the ‘state’ of our nervous system. And the ‘state’ of our nervous system dictates how we view and interact with the world around us. It literally creates our whole experience of life. It really is that massive!
Your nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger - without you even realising it (its sole purpose is to keep you safe and alive, really quite lovely of it isn’t it? The best of mates). If your body perceives something as ‘not safe’, and that can be anything ‘new’ or out of the ordinary in any way that it feels unsure of, even if your mind knows you’re fine, it automatically shifts into protection mode. That means things like your digestion slows down, muscles tense up, blood flow gets redirected to the parts of your body that help you fight or flee, and restricted from those that don’t - goodbye rational thinking brain and immune system too then - and your brain starts prioritising survival.
So, as a means to help counteract this dysregulation as best I can, to really support restoring my nervous system back to feeling ‘safety,’ to regulation, I’ve been working with my nervous system even more than usual.
ADD ONE HERE
And this really is not just doing ‘wellness world’ things that sound good in theory, but when you try to apply them to real life are totally impractical. I’m using methods and practices that are doable, and actually having an impact on how I feel, physically and emotionally. It’s important to tune into these subtle shifts every time you do something regulating too. Start to really notice and you’ll see how slowly but surely your system is showing signs of coming back to safety again… It’s a gentle, slow, steady easing back to calm.
Because regulating your nervous system, at least in the way I hope you receive it from me, should 100% not be about adding, and ticking off, another thing on a to-do list. It’s very much about supporting your body throughout your day, so you can actually live and enjoy your life.
That’s the whole point.
And right now, my body needs intentional time to fully reset and restore. Because as much as I love what I do, my nervous system still reads ‘more pressure, more demand, more intensity’ as something to be wary of. And if I don’t listen? It will only shout louder…
So, Thursday, I head to a spa hotel alone for two nights, to work and relax in tandem (very grateful). I have a talk in development that I'm incredibly passionate about getting out into the world, so I want to absorb myself in creating it from the heart, and really enjoy the process, which I shall do with a tonne of relaxation, and unwinding weaved in and around it. BLISS.
Because, as I said earlier, you can’t separate one thing from another (remember - environment, sleep, the pace we live at etc). Keep on pushing, and it actually works against progress - in anything, really. But allow regulation, allow intentional time out to restore, and everything comes back online, functioning at it’s/your optimum.
Hello feeling fulfilled, peaceful from the inside out, creating from a place of passion and able to connect deeply with yourself, others and the world around you - and really bloody enjoying your life in all of its facets!
This nervous system work wasn’t something I stumbled upon either, or just decided to get into as a chosen career path, it was something I discovered as part of my own recovery. Many years ago, I lived with anxiety and panic attacks so intense, I spent every single day in fear. Eventually finding nervous system work changed everything, it’s the reason I’m able to do all the things I love without ever creating that hellhole for myself again.
I’m a mum first and foremost - always. But I’m also running a business that feels like my third baby, because I care about it so much! It’s something I’ve built with so much love, passion, and purpose, it fulfills every bit of me, every single day. And these things are at the same time as all the other (mainly!) gorgeous roles and responsibilities that come with this time of life, it’s a very full old time. And that’s exactly why I teach nervous system work in the real-life, everyday way I do.
And this is also exactly why REGULATE now exists (learn more about REGULATE here)
I’m absolutely not here to tell you ‘do this, follow that.’ Because there is no one way. There is only your way.
What I do feel so passionate about is that you really feel and experience all the joy, inner peace and fulfilment life can bring alongside all of this ‘fullness’. So what I hugely encourage is that, although I want you to take guidance from people who have been there and are still on that journey, I want you to never stop learning, experiencing, growing, trying things, changing things, flipping them upside down if you need to. I want you to always, always make it your own version. If something feels good, it’s right for you. And if it doesn’t? Even after giving it time to settle? Then it’s not.
And so, if you need simple, real-life nervous system support that actually fits into your life…
REGULATE - the brand-new, social-media-free Nervous System Circle is open now. One nervous system prompt is delivered to you every day for just £5 a MONTH! (learn more here)
Because at the end of the day, life isn’t about rigid routines and rituals that stop you from doing the things that bring you joy- it’s about actually living! Feeling really good in the process from the inside out and finding the tools, habits and environments that actually make that whole experience your reality.
REGULATE goes live on 3rd Feb. Join before 12 noon 3rd Feb and as a ‘Founder-Member’ you’ll be invited to join a FREE Founder-Member exclusive 45-minute Nervous System workshop and live Q&A with me! (Join here).
Have a beautiful day.