Tools to calm the anxious thought loops

Spoke to my mum yesterday too, as I do every day to be honest, and I could really feel the elevation in her voice - simply from having sunshine in the garden - isn’t that just gorgeous? Sunlight. The opportunity to be outside, watching spring springing. Sometimes it’s all we need..

I make no apologies for going on about the weather. I’m from Manchester and consistent sunlight is something to celebrate. So I shall!

So today I’m gonna make this one packed full of things that you can actually action, to make your nervous system feel happier. Make your life feel easier and help you absorb this spring springing more readily.

Let me dial back for just a mo first… I had a client call yesterday morning. This client is really struggling in life at the moment. Intrusive thoughts, round and round they were going for her, from the moment she woke in the morning. Something many of us experience at one time or another - I still remember this viscerally - thankfully long in my past now. But it’s prompted me to want to give you some tools for if you too are struggling with this scenario, or similar, right now.

Tool number one (always) before I get on with anymore…. is get outside, get some sunlight in your eyes, feel connected to the earth, feel connected to the world, and even better (even if you don’t feel like speaking to anybody), put yourself in spaces where other humans are. Be it in a park, a café, a queue in a shop… anywhere.

Merely being around other people co-regulates us, wires our nervous system for safety. Human beings are biologically wired for connection. We literally ‘need’ connection to thrive. You don’t need to speak, you don’t need to look anyone in the eye, you just need to be around people for this to happen - it’s like magic. (If you do want to talk to people - GREAT! And even better if you feel you are able and want to give them a great big hug).

But for those of you struggling somewhat and finding connection difficult, you needn’t actively interact at all to feel real benefit.

So as I say, this is borne out of my client having intrusive thoughts. I feel for her deeply and I’m certain this will resonate with you too.

You know how it goes…

One anxious thought leads to another... and another... and suddenly, you're spiralling (and it feels horrid):

“Did I sound weird when I said that?

“Why haven't I heard back from them yet?”

“What if I forget what I’m going to say and look stupid?”

“What if I’m alone forever?”

“What if I fail?”

“What if the grass isn’t greener”

“What if, what if, what if…

And you try thinking your way out of the negative spiral, telling yourself it’s just thoughts, pull yourself together, get a grip, just think more positively, don't overthink it, etc…

We’ve been taught that we can change our thoughts by mind-setting our way out of it (I used to teach it too! But I did wonder why despite feeling ‘better’ the same patterns returned time after time). In your experience, does trying to think and talk your way out of it ever work? Nope, mine neither.

That's because 80-90% of our body’s ‘messaging’ comes from body (sensations) to brain. And only 10-20% brain (thinking) to body.

So…. This work needs to be done somatically (from in the body) to make lasting change.

So I’ll get on with it now and give you some tools you can use anywhere. And the tools I’m giving you here will work regardless of whichever nervous state you are currently in.

(I say this because I don’t know if you’ve seen my recent Instagram stories recently? But I’ve seen that awareness around nervous system regulation is becoming much more recognised. It’s becoming far more known and talked about which is absolutely FANTASTIC.

I do have my concerns however about people who are using this as a new ‘business opportunity’ without fully understanding the complexities of the nervous system. It really does matter that you understand this evolutionary survival system properly in order to work gently with it in a way that makes it feel safe which is the goal!). we need to properly understand which ‘state’ we are in, to understand which tools to apply, in order to really feel the benefit of this gentle yet powerful work.

Done incorrectly can be detrimental - and we certainly don’t want that. So as a nervous system expert with over 12 years experience, I can assure you you are in safe hands here)

So yes… all the tools I will give you today are applicable whichever nervous system state you are in right now.

All I ask is that after completing one, you give yourself a couple of minutes to really tune in and feel any gentle, subtle shifts that have happened. Even if you only feel 1% better, notice this. This is your system edging its way slowly back into regulation. This is perfect.

Continue to apply these tools daily, even a few times a day if that feels good, and just imagine that slow gentle return you are encouraging back to regulation.

I hope you really enjoy these. I’m picturing you doing so right now.

Today’s tools focus on activating your vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is like the calming pathway between your body and your brain. When you gently activate it, you send a signal to your whole system that you’re safe - and that’s what helps calm the spiral.

By working in this way, you can interrupt anxious thought spirals right from their source, and calm your nervous system, quieting those intrusive thoughts and replacing them with a feeling of internal safety.

So here’re some dead simple ways to stimulate that precious, all important and mega powerful vagus nerve:

1. Humming, singing or chanting – vibrations from your voice stimulate the vagus nerve. Simple.
2. Gargling water – another super simple way to engage the throat muscles connected to the vagus nerve - do it for as long as feels right to you. You’ll know.
3. Laughter – deep, belly laughs naturally stimulate the vagus nerve and release tension - even fake laughter done with gusto should bring about real laughter - it’ll feel so ridiculous you’ll laugh at yourself doing it - so give it a try!
4. Massage – especially on the neck, feet or around the ears where the vagus nerve runs. (Actually, while I mention the ears, have you ever massaged your earlobes? I hadn’t either until recently and it’s quite delicious. Start at the lobe, pull them a little and rub gently between your finger tips; work your way right up to the top of the ears. However it feels best for you. Feel into the subtle shifts this creates in your whole body. Yum.)

It really can be this simple.

Of course this won’t magically ‘fix’ everything overnight, nothing is broken! But incrementally this will help your body remember how to feel safe again. And that’s the start of everything changing for the better.

Start working on calming your body and I promise your mind will follow.

Make this a great week.