Time to get romantic with yourself!

So I was asked to write a piece recently with a fab journalist called Heidi Scrimgeour, for the Goodtoknow website. The piece was all about the trend for "Romanticising your life’ and actually I think it’s a great topic to share with you all here, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Honestly? I’d not heard it termed like that, so off I set to research, and it turns out it’s exactly my bag (she knew that already!). So if you’re not familiar with the term, or even if you are, here goes…

‘Romanticising your life’ is all about finding joy, hidden beauty, magic, significance, and meaning in the day to day of life. The purpose? To enhance your whole experience of life. Excellent!

Really, what it serves to do, is to rewire the brain to that of a positive, growth mindset. One where you notice all the positives, the opportunities for growth, whence before life may have seemed overwhelming, repetitive, or even dull and unfulfilling.

You put yourself as the main character in your life and go through your life looking at the wonder of it all. No surprises, it’s hugely beneficial for better mental health, creativity, increased happiness, and fulfilment.

When you actively seek to find the good in everything, you are literally rewiring your brain; telling the doorman of the brain what you want to see (the Reticular Activating System), so it will see more of that thing (this is one of the key lessons in the self-study Mindset Method Course, available here). Thus creating new neural pathways, so you will naturally become more optimistic and, dare I say, ‘lucky’ (are you now just noticing those opportunities you may have let completely pass you by before?!)

So often, we are trying to get everything done to move on to the next ‘job’ that needs doing. We don’t take the time to absorb exactly where we are, and before we know it, time has flown by, and those moments are gone. Hello teenage daughter and ‘baby’ who is now nearly nine. What???

By actively applying the practices involved in romanticising your life, you are consciously being mindful of that moment you are in. You feel so grateful for what you have right there and then. You become aware you only get this snippet in time but once, which increases the ‘feeling’ of gratitude, calming the nervous system and thus leading to a greater feeling of inner peace and fulfilment.

All too often, we forget about ourselves in our roles, be it as parents, professionals, or caretakers. But when we put ourselves as the lead role in our lives, when we actively practise romanticising our lives, we connect more deeply with our emotions again - this depth of emotion helps us to reconnect with our creativity - with our true whole selves. Couple this with installing new routines and rituals into our day to facilitate the practice, which naturally breaks you out of the autopilot of the usual everyday routine, it can release a new wave of creativity into our lives that can have long been forgotten.

With the new positive mindset of looking for things to feel grateful for, new opportunities arise, which can lead to trying new things. With the new growth mindset this develops, the fear of failure becomes less prevalent, which can massively increase our creativity. Brene Brown heavily encourages creativity as a crucial aspect of wholehearted living, which she associates with greater fulfilment in life! What is not to love?

How to Apply it to Life as a Busy Person

• Set your alarm ten minutes earlier, do not look at your phone! Instead, take this time for yourself to just appreciate waking up and being gifted another chance to be alive on this beautiful planet. Taking a few minutes to breathe steadily, getting rid of the old stale air and breathing in the fresh new day, full of opportunities. Just a few minutes of mindful breathing, being present with yourself, can make a huge difference to your day.
• When you are doing household sh*t, or OK everyday ‘jobs’, take a snapshot in your mind of the details, appreciating the small moments that make up your life. For mums, this could mean noting the size of the kids’ clothes, knowing one day they will be huge. For others, it could be appreciating the simplicity of the tasks you often overlook, those quiet moments alone uninterrupted.
• Create little rituals just for you in the moments you can. While you brush your teeth, stand on one leg for 30 seconds to 1 minute - treat this as time you are giving to yourself today that future you will thank you for. We get wobbly when we get older, working on our balance is a real gift to ourselves in the future and it’s the perfect opportunity to take that time while we are standing there anyway.
• Take a walk after the evening meal, all together or by yourself, appreciating the time you have to be in the moment. For mums, this might mean bribing the kids with a biscuit to join in; for others, it could be a peaceful solo walk just being you. It's a special time to be grateful for. Healthy and happy. It’s precious (great to get moving after eating too - for the body and mind - you can feel grateful for the opportunity to be able to do that too!)
• Take mental photos every time you see people you love happy and laughing, whether it's your kids, your partner, your friends…. These are the things life is really about. No matter how chaotic and busy we feel.

Hey though, I’m all about being realistic. You are human, there is no way you will feel positive every moment of every day BUT you will notice it becomes easier and easier to find the joy in everything. I repeat. What is not to love?

Reply to this and let me know how you get on with this this week.

Have the very best Sunday and an excellent week ahead.